?

Log in

mscutiepie [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
mscutiepie

[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ archive | journal archive ]

(no subject) [Oct. 16th, 2005|07:17 pm]
mscutiepie
so i worked last nite. working off of a total of 6 hours of sleep in 2 days and we were insanely busy last nite. when i walked in the door at 10pm. i found out that there was only one person and the manager that worked earlier so NOTHING was clean everything was a complete and utter mess. not to mention lsat nite was perry hall, kenwoood, and parkvilles homecoming so you wouldnt even believe how busy it was. and i had to deal with rotten immature adolescent children. and then we got the bar rush. so i was so exhausted. and at 4am i went into smoking and my whole dining room got filled. and i got these two little assholes that pissed me off. but everything else was cool. but when i got home as soon as i walked in the door i walked right upstairs and crawled into bed with all my work clothes still on. it was horrible. then i slept for 12 hours. okay thats about it.
linkpost comment

(no subject) [Oct. 13th, 2005|07:56 am]
mscutiepie
so i am so confused about my love life right now. i dont even know how to start. i know the game all too well. i know how to make someone think that i am madly deeply in love with them but not have one bit of my heart in it. i have a guard over my heart so where as no one can get close and everything is nothing but fun to me. i have held onto this for about 2-3 years and i was doing great until i let it down for her. i cant even tell you why. but i believe that eyes are windows to a persons soul, if you look into someones eyes you can feel what they feel, see what they see. and when i look in her eyes i feel like she is the only thing that matters to me. i feel butterflies and shivers...all the gushy stuff. and this is where i managed to fuck it up. i dont want to feel this way. this is me being vulnerable, which leads to the stupidity and the pain that comes along with it. i hate feeling like someone can get to me. like someone can hurt me and just completely break me down. then comes the part that you would go to the end of the earth for that person and they take advantage of it and you get a really large kick in the ass. so the feelings that i have for her scare me...they petrify(sp)me. and then part of me thinks that i should back off and just put my guard back up and make it fun like i always do. but then i think of her smile and i get all that damn gushy stuff. but the real question that is bothering me the most is...how does she REALLY feel about me? there are so many people saying shit that i dont know what to believe anymore. i want to believe her but she might be as good as i am, you know you cant play a playa unless you steal their heart. i did believe her and i did trust her but with yesterday i just dont know what to do. i mean she apologized and said that she didnt mean anything that she said. but how true is that? how dont i know that she just felt bad and thought that it would ruin dennys...or...well thats all i got. i just dont know. the only thing that i know is i do love her...i dont know why...except for the way that she makes me feel. and if i get my heart broken then fuck it, my fault, should have known better.

and the sex thing, hmm...i really dont have much to say about that, except that i want to do it. but i dont want everything to be just about that. and it will be. because thats how it is.
link5 comments|post comment

work [Oct. 11th, 2005|09:06 am]
mscutiepie
well...i can tell you that i feel much better. so its amazing how many things i hear about people. you would not believe everything i know about everyone. its funny. so last nite that dumb bitch called out YET again. not that i really care because of the work load i care because of the principle. when you knwo that there is only one other person that you work with why would you call out on them? thats just rude. not to mentuion the fact that she has been ignorant to the regulars. i dont care what the excuse is...dont yell at my peoples. thats why i have a problem with her. i found out that she told customers that if she needed room she was going to make them move. although they are regulars, you do NOT say that. its rude and they are still helping business. and to top that off she mentioned something to a certain table about tipping her. you dont fuken say that. what the hell is her problem. thats why i had better be the favorite. hahaha just joking. but i love when they are there. there keep me company and always put smiles on my face. and another set of my customers gave me a gift for being soo nice. awww...i love my job. everything about it. but anyways work was VERY slow last nite. but i have a joke to tell all. i met this kid andy tonite that was telling jokes. and here is the one that he wrote in my dennys memorbilia book....how do you stop holy water?? GODDAMN IT!

i need help for halloween...what should i be?? i know that i will be at work that nite...and im hoping that i can dress up...and if not im going to where it anyways...so i need ideas...give me ideas
link1 comment|post comment

a stream of conscious [Oct. 9th, 2005|09:58 am]
mscutiepie
[mood |sicksick]

so i feel yucky and gross. my tummy is upset. but i also feel like i have this energy that just wants to burst out of me but i dont feel well enough to let it. i ate like a box of celery sticks last nite and mallo cups and i think that the mallo cups is what did me in. but they were so damn good. so last nite at work sucked. it was slow and i had to deal with assholes all nite. fuken assholes. i hate drunk people unless im drunk too and then i just dont notice it. okay i think that i should go to bed and try to sleep this off...hmmm....i wonder if pepto bismol would help...i hope so...something had better cuz i dont wanna be sick dammit. okay i will continue this when i wake up...
linkpost comment

hmm... [Oct. 4th, 2005|05:59 am]
mscutiepie
[mood |hopefulhopeful]

i took someones advice and i decided to give this relationship everything i got and im now stcuck in a place that i want to be in but at the same time i know everything can collapse from underneath me. and i would be torn apart. i know how i feel...i opened myself up and for the first time i put my heart in her hands. and i have no control over this situation. but it is an amazing situation. i am scared to death but glad that i have fallen and that i do NOT want to get up. i have that i cant eat, i cant sleep, i cant stop thinking about her feeling....i have only had this once before...and it was my first everything, including heartbreak....but i have came to the realization that no matter how this ends...to get the weak knees...the sparkle in my eyes, to see the sparkle in hers, the butterflies...the nausea...but in a good way...it is going to be completely worth every bit of it. so i took the jump and i love every bit of it...especially that accidentally in love part...
link1 comment|post comment

navigation
[ viewing | most recent entries ]